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Here are the NBA players you can trust to handle a bat situation

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And also, here are the ones you can not.

The NBA has a bat problem. It’s true. In the past week alone, seven bats have been spotted in two different NBA arenas: Utah’s Vivint Smart Home Arena and San Antonio’s AT&T Center.

Bats aren’t birds that fans typically laugh at until they fly away, because they’re freakin’ bats! Bats aren’t funny! They’re terrifying to most, do not belong at any sporting event, and most definitely shouldn’t be near the court. Yet the nearly blind mammal finds its way to the hardwood time and time again, sometimes bringing the whole squad for a group outing.

Through each bat encounter, we learn something about our favorite athletes that we never thought we’d see. Bats bring out the literal fight or flight instincts in the seven-foot fraternity of basketbros, and it’s entirely hilarious.

We have one true King in the world of bat-hunting: Manu Ginobili, the single-motion bat-sassin known famously for spiraling a bloodsucker from the air down to the floor in a Halloween game against the Kings in 2009, executing the swiftest pest control cleanup of all time. That’s why fans in San Antonio chanted his name in the most recent spotting of a quintet of fang-havers on Thursday.

But others haven’t basked in the same glory as Ginobili. Here’s who we can confidently say is and is not afraid of bats.

Definitely Afraid of Bats

D’Angelo Russell

The No. 1 person not to be around during a bat-pocalypse is D’Angelo Russell. He’s not going to make it.

Once the bats showed up at the Nets-Spurs game on Thursday night, Russell ran to the tunnel. Seriously.

He has a history with bats, going back to his time with the Lakers. Bats came out during a practice at AT&T Center before a game against the Spurs, and Russell recording his feelings, saying, “They vampires to me. They eat people.”

[Note: Bats do not eat people.]

Trae Young

A close second to Russell is Young, who is known to be terrified of birds. His dad, Rayford, confirmed this to SB Nation via a Tweet:

[Note: Trae Young’s dad also thinks I’m hilarious. That has nothing to do with this story, but it needs to be said.]

But yeah, Young is having none of this bat action. He claims that he’d run into the tunnel too, if faced with a bat. Young said that he’s afraid of “anything that flies.”

”If you’re not afraid of bats I dont know who you are,” said Young.

When asked if his son was afraid of the Hawks’ team mascot, Trae’s dad avoided answering.

Donovan Mitchell

Bats interrupted Mitchell’s warmup in January, and he “was not cool with that.”

“I’m glad [the team’s mascot] came because I would not have finished my warmup. I would’ve went straight to the locker room.”

Rudy Gay

In the second round of bats at AT&T Center, Gay straight up just ran behind a referee in fear. He booked it. Was not having a second of these dang bats.

Kevin Martin

The retired former Kings guard hasn’t gone on the record to talk about bats, but it’s very obvious that he is not a fan. He was in the background of Ginobili’s famous swat, and you can see him flinching as Ginobili strikes.

NOT Afraid of Bats

Manu Ginobili

This one is obvious. Watch our bat savior, in all his glory, take one down.

The Spurs Coyote Mascot (twice)

San Antonio’s oddly sexual wolf-creature is an expert with a net.

Watch him go! He even has a designated uniform for the stunt.

The Jazz Bear Mascot

Donovan Mitchell’s savior came in the form of a mascot bear that’s known to temporarily steal children, but that’s neither here nor there. He can also catch bats!

Pau Gasol

Gasol was ready to go on Thursday night, with five bats in sight. He rolled a towel, ready to whip them from the air, but ultimately came away with zero catches.

At least he wasn’t afraid!

LaMarcus Aldridge

Aldridge wasn’t standing tall and mighty in trying to get this couple-ounce wing-devil. He instead tried to lightly toss a ball at — which we’ll consider means he is unafraid of bats.

Way Too Unafraid of Bats

Brook Lopez

Lopez talked to SB Nation after the Bucks win over the Wizards on Feb. 2, and revealed what he’d do if a bat came into an arena he was playing in.

Brook Lopez: If you’ve learned anything from the modern superhero myth, if you see a bat around and it bites you, you have a 75 percent chance of ending up a superhero. Otherwise you’ll probably get really get sick. But it’d be cool to be a superhero. You don’t need to be too afraid, I’d say give it a shot.

SB Nation: So you’re going to let the bat bite you?

Brook: Yeah, absolutely.

SB: Are you going to just stick out your hands?

Brook: I’m just going to just make myself available. At that point, it’s up to the bat. A lot of it is up to fate in these superhero stories. But I want to give myself a shot.

This story will be updated as more bats invade NBA arenas.


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